Five to nine

Have a drink.

December 16, 2004

The thing about Australians is...

they're a hard drinking people. Averaging almost eight liters of ethanol per legal adult per year, they take the title for drunkest anglophones. I guess this means that when they play drinking games, they don't fuck around. Now, anyone who's known me long enough knows that I have never been a big supporter of drinking games. First of all, I take drinking very seriously (can't you tell?) and would never attempt to reduce it to a game, and secondly, I hate the implications that I need the encouragement. But I would have never imagined that a drinking game taken too far could lead to severe internal injuries.
However, Jared brought to my attention an article about australians and a power assisted drinking game gone horribly awry.


A 21-year-old Perth man is lucky to be alive after having his stomach ripped open during a beer-skolling game using a home-made device powered by an electric pump...

It is believed to have consisted of a helmet fitted with a jug from which a hose was attached to a pump that was powered by a power drill.

Another hose from the pump was placed in his mouth and the pump was switched on, pushing beer from the jug down his throat.

The man, a mechanical drafter who did not want his name published, said yesterday that about six other party-goers had used the "jug helmet" before him...

I knew something wasn't right soon after I drank from it. I started spewing up red stuff and was in a lot of pain."...

The man underwent urgent surgery to repair a 10cm tear and was then on life support for a week


The man claims he thought the device would be little different than a funneling contraption. As a mechanical drafter he should have known the differences in power between a pint of beer slamming into your throat with about five Newtons of force in the amount of time you see fit, and a 50 or so watt drill. I'm just glad to know he ended up OK.

I would like to take this opportunity to plug two of my favorite Australians, Arthur Chrenkoff and Tim Blair. These guys are very smart, positive, optimistic, and it would do my pinko friends a world of good to see another side of an issue at least once in a while.
Lord knows academia is no longer gonna help you in that department. Just like academia didnt help our mechanically oriented friend in the "don't rip your own guts apart" department.

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