Five to nine

Have a drink.

October 13, 2004

Cheap insurance.

Some cute girl turned you down. Some sketchy dude just hit on you. The life of the party is sobering up. That blonde bitch with the belly-button ring showed up. Some fool is talking religion.
There are many reasons to leave the party. When enough of these reasons add up, the party is over.
There's some good reasons for parties to end. You run out of booze, it's late, all the girls are gone, the cops have arrived, the feds have arrived, etc. How a party comes to an end is an inextricable part of the story, and helps define the quality of said soiree.
There's also terrible reasons for a party to end. Terrible because they can be avoided. I will be happy to outline the most common so that you may avoid them.
First is the cheapest of insurances. I have seen all types of parties end prematurely due to ice shortage. From cozy little cocktail parties to quarter million dollar rites of passage, no one is immune. Ice is cheap. Calculate how much you will need and then buy (or freeze) at least twice as much! Trust me, it's easier to get someone to drink a bad drink than a warm drink.
'Mixers' tend to run out in parties with people mixing their own higballs. People who don't drink, but feel uncomfortable not drinking can go through a quart of orange juice or cranberry juice just to have something to hold. Protect your favorite louches by preparing home-made syrups to take the edge off the lowballs. Simple syrup is cheap and easy to make, and hard to drink except with a good measure of booze. To make simple syrup, simply stir equal volumes water and sugar over a low flame. Simple sweet and sour is made the same way except with half lemon juice and half water in the recipe. The following liquors go well with nothing but a lot of ice and a splash of sour. Whiskey, Scotch whiskey, vodka, gin (gin benefits from an additional splash of soda), tequila. The following liquors go well with naught but a splash of syrup. Whiskey, Bourbon whiskey, rum, vodka WITH any sweet liqueur, gin with anything citrusy.
One thing that is free to fix is the timing of your party. This should depend on the type of gathering, number of guests you expect and what it is that you're offering them. Larger more expensive parties should not start too early, that will distribute the guests arrival time too much. Smaller more intimate parties should not start too late, this leaves plenty of time for your guests to decide what they may want to do with their late evening (assuming it's a weekend). Some of the best memories (or whatever's left of them) come from a good 'springboard' party.
And finally, lame people. We all know some, heck, some of us are some. Keep them away from social events. People who begin every sentence with "I have" or "I did", people who interrupt, people who judge. Concentrate on those friends of yours worth their habit.

Enjoy your party, and please don't forget to invite me.

5 Comments:

At December 12, 2005 at 4:41 AM, Anonymous california home insurances said...

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At December 18, 2005 at 4:47 PM, Anonymous travelers home insurances said...

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